Hello
* Keep things the same. Keep focusing on the our project type of mentality. Focus on doing something special together like an event or activity, but that is mutually planned (and thus has no surprise).

* Exchange gifts without any restrictions. We know people who fall into this category. Each spouse is trusted to spend or alternatively get creative in whatever way they see fit. There’s no similar budget set ahead of time or planning out of the gifts at all. This would be particularly hard for us to do as we have 100% joint finances and wouldn’t consider changing that.

* Exchange specific pre-planned gifts. A lot of people we know fall into this category, as well. They buy each other gifts, but in reality each spouse actually picks out their own. That seems kind of lame to me, especially when it’s between two spouses. It’s basically just allocating more splurge money for yourself. That’s fine, but its not really what we are looking for.

* Exchange gifts under budget restrictions. This seems like the most realistic option for us. We already define a set amount for ‘blow’ money each month. By increasing this slightly for Christmas and purchasing our gifts in cash (if possible), we could still have surprises even with joint finances. We could set the restrictions low if we wanted to focus on being creative to save money.

I’m not afraid to admit that a bit of consumerism would be a little refreshing for us. Actually, exchanging a reasonable gift (probably just a single decent one) wouldn’t be the end of the world — and it might add a little enjoyment to the process.

Obviously, we wouldn’t want to fall off the other side of the wagon and go crazy at the local mall. (Although this seems unlikely given our borderline scroogish history.)

Even if we decided to continue to forgo spending money or even exchanging gifts at all, I’d like to become a little bit more targeted with our approach. Maybe we could pay for a babysitter and spend the evening volunteering in some way together. At the very least we could look back and say, we did XYZ for Christmas two years ago. That seems better than we were saving up for our trip or we bought some bedding for the crib.